Me: You’re very beautiful, Nell. Have I told you that before?
Nell: You might have done.
Me: I could stare into your eyes for hours.
Nell: Please don’t.
Me: Talking of staring into eyes, I had an interesting thought about the scotch eggs.
Nell: Here we go. I know I’m going to regret asking this, but what have scotch eggs got to do with staring into eyes?
Me: Do you think there might be a bit of hypnotism going on again?
Nell: You don’t seriously believe Kev has been hypnotised by a scotch egg, do you?
Me: No. That would be silly.
Nell: Good, because that’s far fetched even for you.
Me: Scotch eggs can’t talk and they don’t have eyes.
Nell: So, what are you talking about?
Me: It just reminds me of when everyone started talking Swedish and you were nice.
Nell: I’m always nice.
Me: You aren’t, Nell. Don’t you remember? You called me ‘my dear’, or something similar, and you agreed with me. It was scary.
Nell: Well, I’m not agreeing with you now.
Me: Where are the scotch eggs coming from?
Nell: Barks and Spencer.
Me: Who is delivering them?
Nell: I don’t know. They just appear. My friend Dorothy found one in the fruit bowl.
Me: How odd.
Nell: Yes. She thought it was a kiwi at first.
Me: I don’t think New Zealanders are allowed to travel yet.
Nell: I was talking about the fruit. And actually New Zealand is about to open its borders again.
Nell: Anyway, if it is hypnotism it doesn’t last very long. David had a bacon sandwich for breakfast and gave his kipper to Malcolm.
Me: What a generous Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: And Kev hasn’t laughed like a seagull for days.
Me: True. Sorry.