You’re really not going to believe this.

Nell: I’m down on our beach. Beefy footprints everywhere as usual. Any news?

Me: You’re not going to believe this.

Nell: Go on.

Me: Just now there was a knock on our door.

Nell: Did you open it?

Me: No, because we’re locked in.

Nell: Oh yes.

Me: I said, ‘I’m a famous author with a giant singing labrador and we are locked in. Could you open the door?’

Nell: Why all the extra information?

Me: I’m undercover, Nell. They replied, ‘Your room can only be locked from the inside, madam. Kindly open your balcony door and I’ll fly round and open it for you.’

Nell: Wait a minute. You locked yourselves in?

Me: The rooks told us to.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: Anyway, the next moment a Beefy flew in. And that isn’t even the strange part.

Nell: It isn’t?

Me: It had really heavy eyebrows.

Nell: Here we go.

Me: And it was smiling.

Nell: Have you been sampling the mini bar again?

Me: No. Guess what happened next.

Nell: I’d rather not.

Me: The eyebrows fell off and it was Henry and Horst.

Nell: Really?

Me: Yes. When Dave threw his hat in the air they activated their parachutes.

Nell: Their what?

Me: They always wear them when they are on manoeuvres. Anyway, they floated down and landed on a Beefy.

Nell: As one does.

Me: Now, unbeknownst to most.

Nell: Good word.

Me: Thank you. Henry and Horst are hypnotists. Learnt from their time with The Great Mutliano.

Nell: Of course.

Me: So they whispered in the Beefy’s ears and to cut a long story short it’s helping us escape.

Nell: Well, you’d better get a move on because Lionel King has just been spotted crossing to the island on the sea tractor.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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