Nell: It’s good to have you home.
Me: Harriet hasn’t left my side.
Nell: She needs protecting.
Nell: Didn’t you see the dance off yesterday?
Me: No. I fell asleep.
Nell: After Lionel King’s appallingly low score Harriet and Beauregard found themselves in the bottom two.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: That’s not the worst of it.
Me: It isn’t?
Nell: They were up against Poppy and Stephen Seagull.
Me: Oh my goodness. Was Poppy very fierce?
Nell: She was terrifying. Never mind the quickstep she had that seagull running for his life.
Me: Good for her.
Nell: It was a dance off.
Me: Oh yes.
Nell: When it came to voting who to save, Anton sensibly chose Harriet and Beauregard.
Me: Good whippet. And Lionel King?
Nell: He chose Poppy and Stephen Seagull. No surprises there.
Me: What about Princess?
Nell: The foolish seal chose Poppy too. She said she’d never seen such an exciting dance on Strictly.
Me: So it all came down to you as head judge?
Nell: Yes, I had the casting vote.
Me: What did you do?
Nell: I saved Harriet and Beauregard of course. Poppy might be fierce but this is a dancing competition.
Me: What happened?
Nell: That wretched lion went wild. Roaring away about biased judging and Labradors and tigers sticking together.
Me: Silly animal.
Me: Was Stephen Seagull very angry?
Nell: Not at all. I’ve never seen anyone more relieved.
Me: And Poppy?
Nell: She winked at me.
Me: So all is well.
Nell: I’m afraid not. Threats have been made and someone threw a stinky mackerel into Beauregard’s tree house.
Me: It’s actually Oliver’s tree house and Beauregard is a guest.
Nell: That’s not the point. We all need to be on our guard.
Me: Yes. Sorry.