Harriet needs protecting

Nell: It’s good to have you home.

Me: Harriet hasn’t left my side.

Nell: She needs protecting.

Me: Why?

Nell: Didn’t you see the dance off yesterday?

Me: No. I fell asleep.

Nell: After Lionel King’s appallingly low score Harriet and Beauregard found themselves in the bottom two.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: That’s not the worst of it.

Me: It isn’t?

Nell: They were up against Poppy and Stephen Seagull.

Me: Oh my goodness. Was Poppy very fierce?

Nell: She was terrifying. Never mind the quickstep she had that seagull running for his life.

Me: Good for her.

Nell: It was a dance off.

Me: Oh yes.

Nell: When it came to voting who to save, Anton sensibly chose Harriet and Beauregard.

Me: Good whippet. And Lionel King?

Nell: He chose Poppy and Stephen Seagull. No surprises there.

Me: What about Princess?

Nell: The foolish seal chose Poppy too. She said she’d never seen such an exciting dance on Strictly.

Me: So it all came down to you as head judge?

Nell: Yes, I had the casting vote.

Me: What did you do?

Nell: I saved Harriet and Beauregard of course. Poppy might be fierce but this is a dancing competition.

Me: What happened?

Nell: That wretched lion went wild. Roaring away about biased judging and Labradors and tigers sticking together.

Me: Silly animal.

Nell: Quite.

Me: Was Stephen Seagull very angry?

Nell: Not at all. I’ve never seen anyone more relieved.

Me: And Poppy?

Nell: She winked at me.

Me: So all is well.

Nell: I’m afraid not. Threats have been made and someone threw a stinky mackerel into Beauregard’s tree house.

Me: It’s actually Oliver’s tree house and Beauregard is a guest.

Nell: That’s not the point. We all need to be on our guard.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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