Nell: Is that our garden?
Me: It is. There’s virtually no grass left now. Just dry dusty earth.
Nell: Oh dear.
Me: Dave and Harriet like sitting outside in the early morning and evening but they come in covered in straw.
Nell: It’s truly shocking.
Me: It is. I miss the green grass.
Nell: Why are those wretched Beefies laughing?
Me: One of them was about to fly down and try and steal our chips.
Nell: I hope you scared it away.
Me: I did. Cheeky bird.
Nell: They think they can help themselves to anything.
Me: I know. They’ve even started going into shops and taking things like packets of crisps off the shelves.
Nell: Without paying?
Me: They never pay.
Nell: Hooligans and thieves.
Me: Nothing is safe from them at this time of year.
Nell: Or at any time of year.
Me: I don’t really mind their screeching.
Nell: It’s a horrible noise.
Me: I prefer it to the sound of pigeons. They are annoying.
Nell: Kev used to insist the pigeons were saying ‘Work harder, Kevin’.
Me: He still does.
Nell: Pigeons have always been rather opinionated.
Me: Walter’s ok.
Nell: Walter is part of the family.
Me: Yes, he is.
Nell: Make sure you keep the bird bath clean and full of water.
Me: I will.
Nell: Don’t forget the insects and make sure you water the plants with your watering can.
Me: Don’t worry.
Nell: As I’ve told you many times before, it’s my job.
Me: Yes, and I thank you for it.
Nell: Don’t forget about the solar eclipse this evening.
Me: We couldn’t get any glasses.
Nell: You can use a colander.
Me: I’d still be looking at the sun.
Nell: As a makeshift pinhole projector. Do keep up.
Me: Oh. Sorry.
