Nell: What has David got on his nose?
Me: Mashed potato.
Nell: Mashed potato?
Me: He was allowed to lick the bowl.
Nell: It’s unacceptable.
Me: I don’t think a little bit of mashed potato will do him any harm.
Nell: You need to wipe his nose.
Me: Do I?
Nell: He’s a handsome pedigree Labrador. He can’t go walking around with potato on his nose. Have you read the Daily Growl yet?
Me: No. Rupert isn’t back from Canada. Was there more news about the Beefy Halloween Ball?
Nell: Yes. Lady Baba is performing and The Big Cat Vibes.
Me: Really?
Nell: There will also be line dancing with Gladys and the Llamas.
Me: Why didn’t they tell me?
Nell: You might not be invited.
Me: I’m not sure I want to go, anyway.
Nell: Kev’s definitely going.
Me: How do you know that?
Nell: He’s Nigel’s Plus One.
Me: He is not. If he’s anyone’s Plus One, he’s mine.
Nell: Not if Nigel asked him first.
Me: Won’t Nigel be going with Charlotte?
Nell: Charlotte’s away that weekend visiting friends.
Me: Oh yes. What about Xav the Cat?
Nell: He’s already spoken for.
Me: You mean Xav the Cat has an invitation?
Nell: He’s The Cat’s Plus One.
Me: What?
Nell: They’re good friends.
Me: Are they?
Nell: Yes. The Cat took a shine to him at one of My Friend Dorothy’s lunches.
Me: Dorothy’s lunch?
Nell: You know Dorothy and The Cat lunch. They’ve been doing it for years.
Me: I knew you lunched but I didn’t know Nigel and Xav did.
Nell: Nigel and Dorothy have had an on-off relationship for quite some time.
Me: I thought it was only back when he was known as Naughty Nigel.
Nell: Nigel is still naughty.
Me: Right. Sorry.
