Nell: When will you be home?
Me: Later this afternoon.
Nell: Poppy and the Puppies are waiting at the window.
Me: It’s far too early to be doing that.
Nell: There are no Sunday Songs today so they might as well.
Me: No Sunday Songs?
Nell: The Welsh corgi choir have lost their voices. Why else do you think we allowed those awful rooks to sing at Strictly yesterday?
Me: Was their singing awful?
Nell: Yes. Worse than The Beefies which is saying something.
Me: How was the dancing?
Nell: Malcolm fell off Alejandro’s back in the middle of their Charleston. Princess clapped which was both annoying and unnecessary.
Me: It’s a seal thing. What about Harriet and Beauregard?
Nell: They danced beautifully but Lionel King still gave them a 3. A ridiculously low score. The lifts alone deserved at least an 8.
Me: Who is at risk?
Nell: If it was up to me Poppy and Stephen Seagull would be in trouble.
Me: Didn’t their quickstep go well?
Nell: Chasing someone around the dance floor with a sword is not dancing in my opinion, although others disagreed.
Nell: Lionel King gave them a 10 and so did Princess.
Nell: She said she loved the drama of it and she always gives 10s. The lion just did it for badness.
Me: Dreadful animal.
Nell: Can you see the island and the hotel from your balcony?
Me: In the distance.
Nell: Well, get your binoculars because there have been some suspicious sightings.
Me: I don’t have my binoculars with me.
Nell: Borrow some. Think on your paws.
Me: What am I looking for?
Nell: A ship, a lion, some rooks and a corgi.
Me: A corgi?
Nell: Stop questioning everything and get the binoculars.
Me: Yes. Sorry.