Me: Oh Nell, is something troubling you?
Nell: I’m finding the lack of you and shortbread biscuits with my tea rather difficult.
Me: Would a scone help?
Nell: Poppy is far too busy rehearsing the quickstep to bake any scones. Stephen Seagull’s steps are slow and sluggish.
Me: Wretched bird.
Nell: Talking of birds, I’m extremely worried about Beauregard and Harriet.
Me: Is singing tonight too much for Beauregard?
Nell: No, he’s looking forward to it. Apparently a few rooks have offered to be his backing singers. I’m concerned about their lack of feathers.
Me: Rooks have lots of feathers.
Nell: Not the rooks. Harriet and Beauregard.
Me: Harriet’s a Chocolate Labrador, Nell, and Beauregard is a tiger. They have coats not feathers.
Nell: I know but they will need feathers to survive. The public vote is awfully feather biased.
Me: Maybe The Cat has some feather boas they can wear?
Nell: Feather boas won’t mud the custard.
Me: Don’t you mean cut the mustard?
Nell: No. I’m talking about muddy custard.
Me: What is muddy custard?
Nell: Haven’t you ever tried Poppy’s Mud Pie?
Me: I can’t say I have.
Nell: You should. It’s delicious.
Me: How do you make it?
Nell: With biscuits and gravy flavoured custard.
Me: Might give that a miss. Did you say biscuits?
Nell: I’m afraid they’re on my mind. The Beefies keep eating them in front of me.
Me: How rude and inconsiderate.
Nell: Yes, and shouting ‘Crunchy’ with your beak full is disgusting.
Me: Does that mean The Beefies still have voices?
Nell: Of course.
Me: Maybe the biscuits don’t affect birds? Ask Malcolm to be a guinea pig and eat one.
Nell: Malcolm is a flamingo not a guinea pig. I could ask Walter Pigeon. He eats anything.
Me: Yes. Sorry.