Me: There’s really nothing like walking on the beach with the wind in your hair and the sun on your face.
Nell: Here we go.
Me: Looking out to sea makes you realise you’re just a small part of something so much bigger.
Nell: I’m not a small part. I’m head judge.
Me: Sometimes you need to gain perspective.
Nell: No, I don’t. My perspective is fine, thank you.
Me: Look at Harriet dancing on the beach. She doesn’t care anymore that Jim the Farm Dog has been partnered with Juanita.
Nell: Why would she? She’s been partnered with Beauregard who is one of the favourites.
Me: I thought Gladys and Count Bingo Flamingo were the favourites, along with Rita Pawreno and Manuel.
Nell: An octopus and a chihuahua. Not an obvious combination, although they both speak Spanish and are excessively flamboyant. I know who have to be the rank outsiders.
Me: Who?
Nell: Alejandro and Malcolm.
Me: Why can’t a flamingo dance with an alpaca? Count Bingo Flamingo is dancing with a Pomeranian.
Nell: Gladys is an experienced Pomeranian and Count Bingo is an extrovert. Malcolm is a shy and polite flamingo who shuns the spotlight.
Me: But Alejandro adores performing. I think they could surprise us all.
Nell: Well, I’m going to be open and fair in all my decisions which is not something I’m expecting from the other judges.
Me: Anton Du Bark will be fair.
Nell: Yes, but Princess is going to like everyone and Lionel King definitely isn’t.
Me: I can see him marking Beauregard down.
Nell: And Stephen Seagull up.
Me: Poppy will like that.
Nell: Kev is going to have his hands full.
Me: Kev?
Nell: Yes. He’s presenting the show with Henry and Horst. Do keep up.
Me: I didn’t know. Sorry.
