Me: How are you this sunny Saturday?
Nell: Enjoying a cup of Earl Grey tea with Mutley in the garden. I know why Nigel’s hiding behind the door.
Me: Why?
Nell: He’s ashamed to be best friends with a cat.
Me: No. He’s just trying to keep an eye on everything and there’s nothing wrong with having Xav the Cat as his best friend.
Nell: It’s a cat.
Me: They love each other, Nell, and I think it’s wonderful to see them cuddling up together.
Nell: Cuddling a cat. Whatever next?
Me: I love cuddling cats. They have soft fur.
Nell: Don’t let David hear that.
Me: I don’t do it when Dave and Harriet are there.
Nell: Good.
Me: You and The Cat were friends.
Nell: The Cat is different.
Me: You’re telling me. It was wearing sparkling Wellington boots the other day.
Nell: The Cat was wearing Wellington boots?
Me: It was raining.
Nell: Cats don’t like rain.
Me: It was meeting Dorothy.
Nell: My friend Dorothy?
Me: Yes. I think they were going to search for Henry and Horst.
Nell: Any news on that front?
Me: Only a ‘Wish You Were Here’ postcard from the seaside.
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: People used to send postcards to loved ones saying ‘wish you were here’.
Nell: I know that.
Me: Typical of Henry and Horst to go retro.
Nell: Never mind the retro part. Wish you were where?
Me: Oh, I see. I’m not absolutely sure where. There were two deckchairs on the beach so they’re obviously having fun.
Nell: Were there two woodlice on the chairs?
Me: They’re far too small to see, Nell.
Nell: I was joking. I don’t think they make postcards with woodlice on them.
Me: No, of course not. Silly me. Sorry.
