Me: Why are you looking at me like that? And what’s the matter with Dave?
Nell: There are strange mats in the living room.
Me: Yes, I know.
Nell: They are in the way.
Me: No, they aren’t.
Nell: We have to walk across them to get on and off our sofas.
Me: That’s the whole idea.
Nell: They weren’t there before.
Me: No, they are new.
Nell: David doesn’t trust them.
Me: Well, that’s really silly.
Nell: Mats are notoriously unreliable.
Me: Not these ones, Nell. They are actually there to stop you slipping on the floor.
Nell: Me?
Me: Yes. You slipped recently. Kev told me. So we talked to Chloe and she advised non slip mats in areas where you need to jump up.
Nell: Are you telling me these mats are here because of me?
Me: Yes. You are much stiffer on your legs now with your arthritis and Kev and I want to make you as safe and comfortable as we can.
Nell: The mats don’t really go with the red sofa.
Me: We don’t care, Nell. As long as you are protected.
Nell: That’s actually really sweet and thoughtful of you both. Thank you.
Me: It’s our pleasure.
Nell: Will you be taking the mats to the Strictly Come Prancing venue?
Me: I’m not sure that will be allowed, Nell.
Nell: Only the competition begins on Saturday and I have to sit on a chair.
Me: We will certainly talk to them about it.
Nell: I shall need a non slip mat outside my dressing room, too.
Me: Your dressing room is on the level. There’s no need to jump.
Nell: What if somebody bounces me? Jumps can happen when you least expect them.
Me: You can’t have non slip mats everywhere, Nell. Sorry.
