Me: Is there a reason why Poppy is hiding?
Nell: We are having an undercover conversation.
Me: It’s more of an underpillow one to be honest.
Nell: Very funny. It is highly confidential.
Me: Can you tell me about it?
Nell: What did I just say?
Me: I can be highly confidential.
Nell: We both know that isn’t true.
Me: Well, I can give it a good go.
Nell: Do you think that’s what James Bond said to M when he was given his latest mission?
Me: Probably not. Poppy must be James Bond then because you are definitely M.
Nell: Sally is M and you know it.
Me: I knew it. I knew she was M. What’s Poppy’s mission?
Nell: Poppy doesn’t have a mission. If you must know she is deeply concerned about Malcolm.
Me: Oh dear. Was it a prawn omelette under his hat?
Nell: No. It was much more worrying than that.
Me: Not a cheese soufflé?
Nell: Why would that be worrying?
Me: They can drop ever so quickly, Nell, especially if carried under a hat.
Nell: It wasn’t a cheese soufflé.
Me: What was it then?
Nell: A shop bought scone.
Me: What? I can’t believe it. Poppy would never allow shop bought scones in the house.
Nell: I know. They are banned.
Me: How did she find out?
Nell: A Beefy threw it at her this morning and said ‘Nasty scone. Give it back to Malcolm.’
Me: The Beefy might have been lying. It probably bought the scone itself.
Nell: Beefies never buy. They only steal. Do keep up.
Me: Why would Malcolm do such a dreadful thing?
Nell: I don’t know but I mean to find out.
Me: By fair or fowl means? See what I did there?
Nell: Enough.
Me: Sorry.
