Highly Confidential

Me: Is there a reason why Poppy is hiding?

Nell: We are having an undercover conversation.

Me: It’s more of an underpillow one to be honest.

Nell: Very funny. It is highly confidential.

Me: Can you tell me about it?

Nell: What did I just say?

Me: I can be highly confidential.

Nell: We both know that isn’t true.

Me: Well, I can give it a good go.

Nell: Do you think that’s what James Bond said to M when he was given his latest mission?

Me: Probably not. Poppy must be James Bond then because you are definitely M.

Nell: Sally is M and you know it.

Me: I knew it. I knew she was M. What’s Poppy’s mission?

Nell: Poppy doesn’t have a mission. If you must know she is deeply concerned about Malcolm.

Me: Oh dear. Was it a prawn omelette under his hat?

Nell: No. It was much more worrying than that.

Me: Not a cheese soufflé?

Nell: Why would that be worrying?

Me: They can drop ever so quickly, Nell, especially if carried under a hat.

Nell: It wasn’t a cheese soufflé.

Me: What was it then?

Nell: A shop bought scone.

Me: What? I can’t believe it. Poppy would never allow shop bought scones in the house.

Nell: I know. They are banned.

Me: How did she find out?

Nell: A Beefy threw it at her this morning and said ‘Nasty scone. Give it back to Malcolm.’

Me: The Beefy might have been lying. It probably bought the scone itself.

Nell: Beefies never buy. They only steal. Do keep up.

Me: Why would Malcolm do such a dreadful thing?

Nell: I don’t know but I mean to find out.

Me: By fair or fowl means? See what I did there?

Nell: Enough.

Me: Sorry.

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