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Malcolm is in a mess

Me: Look at my Big Brave Beautiful Boy with his toy.

Nell: That’s not a toy. It’s a Precious Possession.

Me: It can still be a toy.

Nell: David is four. He must put aside childish things.

Me: Rubbish. He’ll always be a puppy to me.

Nell: Anyway, you’ll be pleased to hear that Rupert has spoken to Malcolm.

Me: About what? Wellington boots?

Nell: No. Shop bought scones. Why mention Wellington boots?

Me: Malcolm is going to need a pair if this rain doesn’t stop soon.

Nell: Do you want to know what happened?

Me: Yes. What did Malcolm say?

Nell: He did it to protect Poppy.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: He doesn’t want Poppy’s scones ‘to be dragged into this awful mess.’ I quote.

Me: What mess?

Nell: I’m afraid Malcolm has been buying shellfish from the Beefies.

Me: What?

Nell: It started with a few prawns but now it has escalated to a whole lobster.

Me: That’s shocking. How did it happen?

Nell: It’s all to do with maintaining his flamingo pinkness, of course. You may have noticed he was looking a little pale recently.

Me: I did.

Nell: Malcolm isn’t a vain bird but he likes to look his best for Susan.

Me: But why did he go to the Beefies?

Nell: They caught him at a vulnerable moment. Prawnless and alone.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: And now they have him and they are threatening to tell Poppy if he doesn’t provide them with scones.

Me: The ruthless ruffians. What can he do?

Nell: Rupert says the only thing to do in cases like this is to come clean.

Me: I’m not sure a bath will help, although I know flamingos enjoy one.

Nell: No. Malcolm has to tell Poppy himself.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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