Me: Why is Dave lying in the doorway?
Nell: Poppy has banished him from the kitchen.
Me: He hasn’t stolen a bacon sandwich, has he?
Nell: No. Bacon was not involved.
Me: Whatever he’s done it will be a mistake. My darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy is not a criminal.
Nell: David has a Guilty Nose.
Me: A Guilty Nose?
Nell: Yes. Everyone knows that Poppy will not allow a Guilty Nose in her kitchen.
Me: What is a Guilty Nose?
Nell: Notice the staining.
Me: Oh dear.
Me: It looks like mud to me.
Nell: Yes. Digging probably took place.
Me: Maybe he was working in the garden, or playing a game with Henry and Horst.
Nell: David was seen by the plant pots.
Me: Was he near my lavender again?
Nell: A witness reported snuffling near the hedge.
Me: Well, that witness is a proper busybody if you ask me.
Nell: Nobody did.
Me: All he was doing was smelling the lavender. That’s not a crime.
Nell: Mud was found on the ground.
Me: I don’t think it’s fair to banish someone for over enthusiasm.
Nell: If you’re going to snuffle a plant pot then the least you can do is wipe your nose. Especially before entering the kitchen.
Me: I suppose so.
Nell: Poppy has standards to maintain.
Me: Yes, she does.
Nell: She can’t risk her reputation.
Me: How was Dave supposed to wipe his nose?
Nell: With a handkerchief, of course. What a question.
Me: I thought you were going to say grass.
Nell: Grass? Do you wipe your nose on grass?
Nell: Well then.
Me: But what if he doesn’t have a handkerchief?
Nell: Then he asks for one. There are plenty in the drawer you know.
Me: Yes. Sorry.