Nell: Why have you posted a photo of Ollie?
Me: I want everyone to see how gorgeous and happy he looks.
Nell: He is a rather cheerful chap.
Me: That’s because he knows he’s loved by Tony and Sue and the rest of the family.
Nell: David isn’t too sure about Ollie.
Me: Dave is just jealous. He wants to be Tony’s Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: He wants to be everybody’s Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Me: I know he does. Bless him. He just loves a good cuddle.
Nell: Have you noticed a number of noisy mallards flying over here recently?
Me: Well, that was an interesting change of subject. Actually, Kev and I saw them on our walk. I wondered if they were Canada Geese.
Nell: Don’t be ridiculous. They’re clearly ducks. I must tell Ginger next time we speak.
Me: I miss Ginger.
Nell: She’ll be back in the autumn.
Me: Why are we talking about mallards?
Nell: I think the Beefies might be leading them astray. They were following them.
Me: I suppose they are a little out of their comfort zone down here by the sea.
Nell: What are you talking about?
Me: Mallards are dabbling ducks. ‘Heads down, tails up. Dabbling free!’
Nell: Here we go.
Me: They can’t do that in the sea. They would get all salty and mallards don’t do salt.
Nell: I worry about you sometimes. I really do.
Me: Do you think we are going to find the beach full of confused mallards when we go down there today?
Nell: I certainly hope not. Although anyone who decides to follow a Beefy has themselves to blame.
Me: That’s a bit harsh.
Nell: The truth hurts.
Me: Especially when the salt gets in your eyes.
Nell: Good grief.
Me: Sorry.
