Nell: If you could stop taking photos of Harriet, please, I need a word.
Me: We’re playing Cheeky Animal.
Nell: Well, stop.
Me: But I just caught her.
Nell: We have other far more urgent matters to deal with than that.
Me: Like what?
Nell: I’m afraid we have offended PC Panda.
Me: What have we done? Run out of scones?
Nell: No. His name isn’t Amanda.
Me: I did wonder.
Nell: It’s Armando.
Me: Oh dear. But you said it was Amanda, Nell.
Nell: I know. It’s an easy mistake to make. They sound the same.
Me: But we’ve been calling him Amanda for months. What happened?
Nell: He introduced himself to Babycakes Gillespie as Armando and then Babycakes told him.
Me: Oh no. What did he say?
Nell: ‘I gotta tell you, The Martins all call you Amanda. I thought it was a strange first name for a guy. Can I call you Mandy?’
Me: That was an awfully good American accent, Nell.
Nell: That’s not the point. PC Panda will be furious with us.
Me: Mandy is much better than Amanda. Mandy Patinkin is a great actor. Have you seen The Princess Bride’?
Nell: Will you stop? I have invited PC Panda over here to explain and we all need to be there.
Me: You haven’t invited Babycakes, have you?
Nell: No, definitely not.
Me: Or the Welsh corgi choir?
Nell: No.
Me: What about the Whippets Institute?
Nell: Why on earth would they be involved?
Me: They’ve just arrived in their minibus.
Nell: Good grief.
Me: And they’re carrying a banner saying ‘Sorry Mandy’.
Nell: Can this get any worse?
Me: Possibly. The Welsh corgi choir have started singing ‘Mandy’ and Gladys is performing a contemporary dance.
Nell: I need a lie down.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
