An early return

Nell: It’s Sunday morning. Why are you taking photos?

Me: Because I needed proof.

Nell: Proof of what?

Me: Of you lot taking over my bed. I went downstairs to get some coffee and when I came back, my bed was full of sleeping dogs.

Nell: Of course it was. Sundays are supposed to be slow and gentle days.

Me: What about me?

Nell: Just enjoy your coffee and chill.

Me: It’s very chilly standing here, I can tell you. I put the electric blanket on. My bed is lovely and cosy.

Nell: Yes, we noticed. Thank you.

Me: I’m surprised Poppy isn’t more agitated.

Nell: Why should she be? Malcolm organised breakfast and she doesn’t need to start prepping the roast chicken until later.

Me: I meant with John the Doberman coming over here.

Nell: I beg your pardon? Did you say John was coming here?

Me: He didn’t sound in a good mood.

Nell: You’ve spoken to John?

Me: Yes. He called the house phone because Poppy wasn’t answering her iBone.

Nell: Why didn’t you tell me that before? John wasn’t supposed to be back from Scotland until next week.

Me: He decided to travel back earlier after an anonymous well wisher told him to ‘Keep an eye on the missus.’ I quote.

Nell: Well wisher, indeed. It sounds like a Beefy.

Me: He was most concerned until I told him Poppy was quite safe and they were probably just referring to her new friend Babycakes Gillespie.

Nell: You told him about Babycakes?

Me: He was ever so worried, Nell. I had to put his mind at ease.

Nell: And did you?

Me: Not exactly, but at least he seems more annoyed now than worried, which is a good thing.

Nell: Is it, though?

Me: Maybe not. Sorry.

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