Nell: This is unacceptable.
Me: Why are you three waiting at the bottom of the stairs?
Nell: The gate is closed.
Me: That’s my fault.
Nell: We thought as much.
Me: I had some difficult re-writing to do and I had to concentrate so I asked Kev to close the gate.
Nell: You know perfectly well that we all come upstairs in the morning to welcome you into the day and offer our support.
Me: Yes. I appreciate that but Dave’s support can be a bit heavy. He sits on me.
Nell: It’s all part of a new therapy apparently. The heaviness of David is reassuring.
Me: Yes, but it’s ever so hard to write when you’re being squashed.
Nell: Actually a number of his clients have mentioned the squashing. Henry and Horst have started wearing armour.
Me: Why do Henry and Horst need counselling?
Nell: It’s that wretched butterfly again. Toying with their affections.
Me: Oh dear. Why is Benjamin wearing sunglasses? Is he incognito?
Nell: Certainly not. He doesn’t drink. He’s in disguise.
Me: That’s what I meant. He’s not hoping to be a spy, is he?
Nell: Don’t be silly. Benjamin isn’t spy material.
Me: People thought that about Harriet.
Nell: No, rumour has it that Stephen Seagull is in town and Benjamin doesn’t want to fly into him.
Me: I thought the Beefies were rather noisy this morning.
Nell: Those Kiss me Quick hats are getting on my nerves. Who wants to kiss a seagull?
Me: The tourists love it. They are always taking photos of them.
Nell: Yes and leaving their chips and ice creams unguarded.
Nell: Did David just walk past carrying my handbag?
Nell: Can I smell bacon?
Me: He has to put the sandwiches somewhere, Nell. Sorry.