Nell: It’s outrageous.
Me: What are you reading?
Nell: The Daily Growl.
Me: What does it say?
Nell: ‘National celebrity Stephen Seagull, pictured here with friends, delights viewers around the world with his clever antics.’
Me: Viewers around the world?
Nell: Utter nonsense. It was only BBC Devon. Stephen was caught on camera stealing crisps from a shop in Exmouth and now he thinks he’s a national celebrity.
Me: Or an international celebrity. I like his hat.
Nell: He isn’t even a real pirate.
Me: Well, he sort of is, Nell. In his own way.
Nell: At least it explains why the Beefies are wearing striped t-shirts and eye patches this morning.
Me: I did wonder. I see Romeo is wearing Dave’s old black wig again.
Nell: Who calls a seagull Romeo anyway? Ridiculous.
Me: I think it suits him and he’s tied his hair back today with a lovely ribbon.
Nell: I despair of you sometimes. I really do.
Me: I hope they aren’t going to force Benjamin to be a pirate.
Nell: Probably. What on earth are they doing now?
Nell: The llamas. They’re sword fighting.
Nell: In feathered hats. I’m not watching this nonsense.
Me: Let me see. How exciting. Gladys has just joined them with Alejandro and the larger animals.
Nell: The world has gone mad.
Me: You’re not going to believe this but Knitwear Wolf is in the middle of it all in a long coat waving a sword. He looks amazing.
Nell: Please tell me I can’t hear the Welsh corgi choir?
Me: Yes. They’re at the top of the hill.
Nell: Waving swords?
Me: No. Little cutlasses.
Nell: All we need now is the Whippets Institute.
Me: They’re just parking the minibus.
Nell: I give up.