Small animal speaking

Nell: Morning Thoughts was a little tense today.

Me: Why?

Nell: Poppy presented a petition from the smaller animals.

Me: What did it say?

Nell: It was rather long-winded to be perfectly honest but the gist of it was that they are being Overlooked in favour of middle sized and larger animals who are Stealing the Limelight.

Me: Oh dear. Anyone specifically?

Nell: You’re going to laugh but they particularly mentioned David, Harriet and me.

Me: You?

Nell: Quite. Whoever heard of such nonsense?

Me: Well, I suppose the book does have your name on the front.

Nell: Of course it does. The conversations are with me.

Me: And my Big Brave Beautiful Boy just loves attention. But Harriet is quiet.

Nell: According to the smaller animals Harriet is Secretly Demanding.

Me: Really?

Nell: Yesterday, for instance, when Kev was working on the terrace, Harriet demanded stroking.

Me: You all do that, to be honest.

Nell: She was the most persistent. Poppy was trying to discuss something important with Kev and ended up having to stand on her back paws in order to be seen and heard.

Me: What was the important something?

Nell: That’s not the point. Scones, if you must know. PC Panda suggested cheese scones for a change. Poppy’s not keen and wanted Kev’s opinion.

Me: Kev loves cheese.

Nell: Yes, but he said if pushed, he would go for a more traditional scone with jam and cream and have his cheese melted on toast as a starter.

Me: Fair enough.

Nell: Anyway, it’s all resolved. If a smaller animal is feeling ignored they just need to shout ‘Small Animal Speaking’ and the others will listen.

Me: I’m going to try that myself next Zoom meeting.

Nell: I wouldn’t if I were you.

Me: No. Sorry.

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