Me: Did I wake you?
Nell: Certainly not.
Me: You’ve got a floppy eared face and velvet eyes. So you’ve definitely been asleep.
Nell: How can anyone have a floppy eared face? Ears aren’t on your face.
Me; You know what I mean. You were napping. Admit it.
Nell: Harriet has been very unsettled over the past few days so David and I have been sleeping badly. I suppose I might have drifted off briefly.
Me: Maybe we should ask Harriet to sleep in the kitchen?
Nell: In the kitchen? All alone? This is Harriet. My niece. She’s sleeping on the sofa. David and I will cope.
Me: I wonder what’s wrong with her.
Nell: It’s all this velvet business if you ask me. It’s unsettling everyone.
Me: I think it’s the full moon. I always sleep badly then.
Nell: You might be right. It was the Buck Moon.
Me: Why Buck Moon?
Nell: It’s the time of year when young deer start growing antlers.
Me: You don’t think Harriet is growing antlers do you?
Nell: Don’t be silly.
Me: I’ve just had a strange thought.
Nell: Here we go.
Me: Young deers’ antlers are covered in velvet.
Nell: No. They feel like velvet. There’s a difference.
Me: It’s still velvet. Maybe that’s why we are all wearing velvet even though it’s the wrong time of year?
Nell: Good grief.
Me: Because it isn’t the wrong time of year for deer. It’s a velvet time of year for them.
Nell: Have you quite finished?
Me: I’ll ask Olive. She’s a reindeer.
Nell: I worry about you sometimes. I really do.
Me: The new Glamourpuss clothing line should be called Buck Moon Velvet and you’ve got Buck Moon Velvet eyes.
Nell: Can I go back to sleep now?
Me: Yes. Sorry.
