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Buck Moon Velvet

Me: Did I wake you?

Nell: Certainly not.

Me: You’ve got a floppy eared face and velvet eyes. So you’ve definitely been asleep.

Nell: How can anyone have a floppy eared face? Ears aren’t on your face.

Me; You know what I mean. You were napping. Admit it.

Nell: Harriet has been very unsettled over the past few days so David and I have been sleeping badly. I suppose I might have drifted off briefly.

Me: Maybe we should ask Harriet to sleep in the kitchen?

Nell: In the kitchen? All alone? This is Harriet. My niece. She’s sleeping on the sofa. David and I will cope.

Me: I wonder what’s wrong with her.

Nell: It’s all this velvet business if you ask me. It’s unsettling everyone.

Me: I think it’s the full moon. I always sleep badly then.

Nell: You might be right. It was the Buck Moon.

Me: Why Buck Moon?

Nell: It’s the time of year when young deer start growing antlers.

Me: You don’t think Harriet is growing antlers do you?

Nell: Don’t be silly.

Me: I’ve just had a strange thought.

Nell: Here we go.

Me: Young deers’ antlers are covered in velvet.

Nell: No. They feel like velvet. There’s a difference.

Me: It’s still velvet. Maybe that’s why we are all wearing velvet even though it’s the wrong time of year?

Nell: Good grief.

Me: Because it isn’t the wrong time of year for deer. It’s a velvet time of year for them.

Nell: Have you quite finished?

Me: I’ll ask Olive. She’s a reindeer.

Nell: I worry about you sometimes. I really do.

Me: The new Glamourpuss clothing line should be called Buck Moon Velvet and you’ve got Buck Moon Velvet eyes.

Nell: Can I go back to sleep now?

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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