Unnecessary Barging

Me: What’s wrong?

Nell: We received another petition from the smaller animals this morning.

Me: Oh no. What about this time?

Nell: Unnecessary Barging. Poppy was the victim.

Me: Unnecessary Barging?

Nell: Yes. David is very prone to this, of course. Jonathan has been barged on a number of occasions. Unfortunately in this particular case Harriet was the ringleader.

Me: Oh dear. I don’t see Harriet as a natural barger. I know my Big Brave Beautiful Boy can be over keen at times.

Nell: It also took place in an extremely dangerous location which makes matters much worse.

Me: Are you sure? Mightn’t there have been some exaggeration?

Nell: I’m afraid not. There’s photographic evidence. Our Penguin caught it all on camera.

Me: Was Our Penguin filming a new documentary?

Nell: That’s not the point. Poppy was at the top of the stairs when the puppies heard a delivery van and barged past her.

Me: They get awfully excited about deliveries.

Nell: Fortunately you had left a bag of washing at the top of the stairs which cushioned Poppy’s sideways fall.

Me: What can we do about it?

Nell: Both Harriet and David were questioned by the small animals’ representative at Morning Thoughts.

Me: Are we talking about Poppy now?

Nell: No. Gladys. Poppy is Chief Executive but she was involved in the incident so could only be called as a witness.

Me: I see.

Nell: Anyway, the upshot of it all is that both puppies are Extremely Sorry and showed Great Remorse.

Me: Good.

Nell: They have promised to try and be more careful in future and to look before leaping.

Me: Maybe the smaller animals should shout ‘Small Animal Passing Through’ in future?

Nell: There is no time to shout when you are being barged.

Me: No. Sorry.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.