It’s Charlotte’s Birthday

Me: It’s Naughty Nigel and the boys.

Nell: Yes. It’s your sister Charlotte’s birthday.

Me: Why isn’t Xav in the photo?

Nell: Xav is a cat.

Me: Don’t be so cattist.

Nell: May I read Nigel’s poem?

Me: Yes.

Nell: ‘Another year older, well, what can we say?

Except Happy Birthday dear Charlotte on this special day.

Boo, Seamus and I love you awfully much.

More than kisses and rainbows and butterflies and such.’

Me: How imaginative.

Nell: Kisses, rainbows and butterflies? Who cares about those? He should have said bacon sandwiches. That would be caring.

Me: Go on.

Nell: ‘We love you much more than that dreadful cat

Who left mud on the floor and a mouse in your hat.’

Me: I don’t think I’d like a mouse in my hat.

Nell: How do you think I feel about Gladys sleeping in my handbag then? She’s started doing it again, you know. Ever since Alejandro moved out to The Barn with the larger animals.

Me: I think I’d still rather have a Pomeranian in my hat, given the choice.

Nell: One has no choice where cats are involved. Believe me.

Me: Probably not.

Nell: ‘You are the sun in our little sky

Making everything better

Like gravy on pie.’

Me: It’s not the prettiest of images.

Nell: David particularly liked that line.

Me: My darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy enjoys anything food related.

Nell: ‘Now, we know there’ll be cake

And lots of presents and fuss

And cake is best shared

With good dogs like us.

Cats don’t like cake

So I wouldn’t bother

To give it a slice

Just give us another.’

Me: Is that it?

Nell: Yes. Nigel ran out of thoughts. It happens when you’re hungry. Are you going to share that toast?

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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