Me: It’s Naughty Nigel and the boys.
Nell: Yes. It’s your sister Charlotte’s birthday.
Me: Why isn’t Xav in the photo?
Nell: Xav is a cat.
Me: Don’t be so cattist.
Nell: May I read Nigel’s poem?
Nell: ‘Another year older, well, what can we say?
Except Happy Birthday dear Charlotte on this special day.
Boo, Seamus and I love you awfully much.
More than kisses and rainbows and butterflies and such.’
Me: How imaginative.
Nell: Kisses, rainbows and butterflies? Who cares about those? He should have said bacon sandwiches. That would be caring.
Me: Go on.
Nell: ‘We love you much more than that dreadful cat
Who left mud on the floor and a mouse in your hat.’
Me: I don’t think I’d like a mouse in my hat.
Nell: How do you think I feel about Gladys sleeping in my handbag then? She’s started doing it again, you know. Ever since Alejandro moved out to The Barn with the larger animals.
Me: I think I’d still rather have a Pomeranian in my hat, given the choice.
Nell: One has no choice where cats are involved. Believe me.
Me: Probably not.
Nell: ‘You are the sun in our little sky
Making everything better
Like gravy on pie.’
Me: It’s not the prettiest of images.
Nell: David particularly liked that line.
Me: My darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy enjoys anything food related.
Nell: ‘Now, we know there’ll be cake
And lots of presents and fuss
And cake is best shared
With good dogs like us.
Cats don’t like cake
So I wouldn’t bother
To give it a slice
Just give us another.’
Me: Is that it?
Nell: Yes. Nigel ran out of thoughts. It happens when you’re hungry. Are you going to share that toast?
Me: Yes. Sorry.