Bad Dog

Me: You all look exhausted.

Nell: We were consoling Knitwear Wolf until the early hours of the morning. All I can say is thank goodness for scones. David had to eat dozens.

Me: What happened?

Nell: You know Gladys and Alejandro borrowed Knitwear Wolf’s motorbike?

Me: Yes, to take Princess and Our Penguin for their daily swim.

Nell: That was what we were supposed to think.

Me: Didn’t they swim?

Nell: They did actually, because Princess said she couldn’t manage without one.

Me: Seals do need their sea time. What else did they do?

Nell: They went to see Myfanwy.

Me: That wasn’t an essential journey.

Nell: That’s not the point.

Me: No.

Nell: Actually, when questioned, they insisted it was essential to the support of Knitwear Wolf, so they did have a point.

Me: When questioned? By the police?

Nell: Fortunately PC Panda was on duty.

Me: What did they do?

Nell: They drove to Myfanwy’s house and shouted outside her window.

Me: What did they say? Heartbreaker?

Nell: No. Much worse.

Me: What?

Nell: Bad Dog.

Me: Bad Dog?

Nell: I know. I was shocked too.

Me: I only say ‘Bad Dog’ if I’m very angry.

Nell: To be fair they were very angry and justifiably so.

Me: So why did the police get involved?

Nell: Princess started singing ‘Bad Dog’ and then Alejandro took out his maracas and Gladys performed a contemporary dance.

Me: Goodness me.

Nell: People came out of their houses and joined in.

Me: Sounds fun.

Nell: It was an illegal gathering. Myfanwy called the police and they were escorted home.

Me: I wish I’d seen it.

Nell: You can. Our Penguin filmed it all and it’s trending on YouChewed. Knitwear Wolf is most unhappy. He is such a private wolf.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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