Nell: Where is your crown?
Me: Do I have to wear it all day?
Nell: It’s your birthday. How is anyone going to know otherwise?
Me: Maybe I don’t want them to know. When you get older birthdays change.
Nell: Stuff and nonsense. You’ll be refusing cake next.
Me: I wouldn’t go as far as that, but you can cancel the orchestra.
Nell: How did you know about the orchestra?
Me: I was joking. Is there going to be one?
Nell: Of course. It’s the Whippets Institute orchestra. They’ve been rehearsing for weeks with the Welsh corgi choir.
Me: How lovely.
Nell: Large beasts are not allowed on the Bouncy Castle because of their hooves.
Me: That’s a shame. You know how they like to bounce.
Nell: Don’t worry, Jim the Farm Dog has offered the use of his trampoline. Now, guests will be arriving shortly.
Me: Guests?
Nell: Of course it’s your birthday. Do you want to hear your poem?
Me: Yes, please.
Nell: ‘An awful lot of animals are queuing up to say
A very Happy Birthday to you on this fine day.’
Me: It isn’t fine though. It’s horribly grey and rainy.
Nell: It’s poetic licence. May I continue?
Me: Yes.
Nell: ‘Moose, alpacas, reindeer,
Creatures great and small.
Woodlice wearing berets
Birds, both short and tall.
Wolves in knitted cardigans,
Corgis in a shawl.
Dogs of every shape and size
Are gathering one and all.
Poppy, Mutley and Harriet
Your Big Brave Beautiful Boy,
And Kev your darling husband
Wish you a birthday filled with joy.
And finally there’s you and me,
And me and you, it’s true
That’s the way it will always be
Because where there’s me, there’s you.’
Me: Thank you.
Nell: No tears, just smiles. It’s your special day.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
