Me: Is Mutley having a snuggly day?
Nell: It’s grey and cold. What’s an animal supposed to do?
Me: I thought Sunday was Cuddles Day.
Nell: Yes, but, as I explained to you before, cuddles can be given whenever needed.
Me: Can I cuddle you then?
Nell: Certainly not. I have far more important things on my mind.
Me: The Face of Birdberry?
Nell: That, and bacon.
Me: Bacon?
Nell: Yes. Knitwear Wolf is an extremely good mood this morning. He brought us all bacon, as well as the papers.
Me: I thought we were all on diets.
Nell: Everybody needs a treat day.
Me: Don’t you mean a cheat day?
Nell: No. Treating is not cheating. This is not a sneaky biscuit stolen from another dog’s bowl.
Me: No.
Nell: This is crispy bacon with a choice of red, or brown, sauce packed between two slices of Poppy’s freshly baked bread.
Me: Gosh, I’m ever so hungry now.
Nell: Exactly. If you are going to have a treat day then do it properly.
Me: Why is Knitwear Wolf in a good mood?
Nell: He received his invitation from the Palace.
Me: What about Dave? Has he got an invitation?
Nell: David’s has not arrived yet. Tony will be here later to say goodbye before his holiday, so hopefully he will bring it then.
Me: Does the Queen use the normal postal service then? I always imagined courtiers on horseback arriving with scrolls sealed with candle wax.
Nell: Good grief. Just listen to yourself. Why do you think it’s called the Royal Mail?
Me: Oh yes. Of course.
Nell: What on earth is Gladys wearing?
Me: It’s some kind of feathered cloak. She looks just like a peacock.
Nell: That false beak isn’t going to fool anyone.
Me: No. Sorry.
