Me: Do you have to watch every mouthful I eat?
Nell: Yes.
Me: It’s unnerving, Nell.
Nell: Don’t be ridiculous.
Me: At least Poppy gets bored after a while but you and Harriet never waver.
Nell: We are Labradors. It is our duty to offer you Encouragement and Support.
Me: To be honest, Nell, I could do without it.
Nell: We’ve had this discussion before. You know you need monitoring and we are willing to do it.
Me: Poppy seems to have recovered from yesterday’s visit to the vet.
Nell: She did well. Especially as she went into battle without a weapon.
Me: Why? Because Gladys had her sword?
Nell: I’m talking about her baguette.
Me: Didn’t she have it with her?
Nell: I’m afraid there was an unfortunate incident on the way to the car.
Me: Oh no.
Nell: David kindly offered to carry the baguette but by the time he got to the car it had gone.
Me: Did a Beefy steal it?
Nell: No. Evidence suggests that David ate it by mistake.
Me: But the car wasn’t even far away.
Nell: He says one minute it was there and the next it wasn’t.
Me: How did Poppy react?
Nell: Not well. When David arrived baguetteless and covered in crumbs she gave him a very hard stare.
Me: Terrifying.
Nell: Yes. All was not lost, however, as fortunately she had a cheese straw behind her ear.
Me: As one does.
Nell: Quite. Anyway, it turns out it wasn’t needed as the vet was very pleased with her and she was able to enjoy it on the way home.
Me: Which is fine as she’s the only one of you not to have put on weight.
Nell: I thought we agreed not to mention that word.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
