Boxing Day

Me: You are looking a little tired, Nell.

Nell: David has been chewing on a bone since first thing this morning.

Me: He’s not harming anyone.

Nell: Have you ever tried sleeping with someone crunching through a packet of crisps next to you?

Me: No.

Nell: Well then.

Me: You seem a little delicate this morning. Has it got anything to do with last night’s celebrations?

Nell: Was there rather a lot of singing?

Me: There might have been.

Nell: But I didn’t dance on the table, did I?

Me: Only once and you were very good.

Nell: Oh dear.

Me: I’m so glad Olive has decided to stay for a while.

Nell: May I ask where she is staying? Those antlers need space.

Me: Jim the Farm Dog has a spare barn. Alejandro is over there now with Monty the Moose making it comfortable.

Nell: I presume all the large beasts will be staying there then.

Me: Not Dave, though, Nell. That would be awfully mean.

Nell: I was talking about Alejandro. I know David is large but he’s not the size of an alpaca. Yet.

Me: How long can dogs keep growing?

Nell: Labradors reach adult height by 12 months but some continue to fill out during the next 2 years.

Me: I think the filling out might continue beyond that.

Nell: What exactly are you implying?

Me: Well, Labradors are known for enjoying their food. You are a greedy breed.

Nell: I beg your pardon? A greedy breed?

Me: You have good appetites.

Nell: Just because we don’t play with our food like some, or even walk away from an unfinished bowl like others, does not mean we are greedy.

Me: No.

Nell: ‘A tidy bowl is a tidy mind.’ All Labradors know this.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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