Me: You are looking a little tired, Nell.
Nell: David has been chewing on a bone since first thing this morning.
Me: He’s not harming anyone.
Nell: Have you ever tried sleeping with someone crunching through a packet of crisps next to you?
Me: No.
Nell: Well then.
Me: You seem a little delicate this morning. Has it got anything to do with last night’s celebrations?
Nell: Was there rather a lot of singing?
Me: There might have been.
Nell: But I didn’t dance on the table, did I?
Me: Only once and you were very good.
Nell: Oh dear.
Me: I’m so glad Olive has decided to stay for a while.
Nell: May I ask where she is staying? Those antlers need space.
Me: Jim the Farm Dog has a spare barn. Alejandro is over there now with Monty the Moose making it comfortable.
Nell: I presume all the large beasts will be staying there then.
Me: Not Dave, though, Nell. That would be awfully mean.
Nell: I was talking about Alejandro. I know David is large but he’s not the size of an alpaca. Yet.
Me: How long can dogs keep growing?
Nell: Labradors reach adult height by 12 months but some continue to fill out during the next 2 years.
Me: I think the filling out might continue beyond that.
Nell: What exactly are you implying?
Me: Well, Labradors are known for enjoying their food. You are a greedy breed.
Nell: I beg your pardon? A greedy breed?
Me: You have good appetites.
Nell: Just because we don’t play with our food like some, or even walk away from an unfinished bowl like others, does not mean we are greedy.
Me: No.
Nell: ‘A tidy bowl is a tidy mind.’ All Labradors know this.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
