I know that face

Me: Oh dear. I know that face.

Nell: How are you enjoying your retreat?

Me: It was lovely to wake up to the sound of the sea. Time to pause and reflect.

Nell: Not something I will be doing as long as that animal is around.

Me: Are you talking about Handsome?

Nell: I certainly am.

Me: He’s arrived then?

Nell: With a flourish. I can accept the dinner jacket, or tuxedo as he calls it, although I told him the dress code was smart casual, but I don’t want guns in the house.

Me: Quite right, too.

Nell: He said he is never without one but I insisted he deposit it at the front door. This is Devon not Chicago.

Me: He’s from South Carolina.

Nell: That’s not the point. And he keeps asking for dry martinis.

Me: Shaken not stirred?

Nell: Exactly. He insisted on fresh lobster for dinner and then snapped at David for getting it all over him.

Me: It’s easily done. Lobsters are quite difficult to shell.

Nell: Yes they are. Poppy provided hammers but David was a little too vigorous with his.

Me: Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: Malcolm helped. He’s an expert with shellfish.

Me: Any sign of the sporran wearing Beefy?

Nell: No. A few of them were wearing kilts and one was playing the bagpipes badly but we ignored them.

Me: Wise decision though probably quite difficult to do.

Nell: It was. Another one threw a haggis at Gladys but she hit it back with her baseball bat.

Me: Does she play then?

Nell: Oh yes, although not usually with a haggis. She scored a home run, though.

Me: Was anyone else playing?

Nell: Yes, we all joined in. You can’t play baseball alone you know.

Me: Of course not. Sorry.

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