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Handsome is on the case

Nell: I’m afraid we had no choice.

Me: What are you talking about?

Nell: When we went down to the beach and noticed a Beefy wearing a sporran we had to call for back up.

Me: Owl Pacino?

Nell: No. Handsome.

Me: Handsome?

Nell: Yes. The Cat’s cousin Handsome from South Carolina in the United States. Do keep up.

Me: I didn’t know The Cat had a cousin.

Nell: The Cat has cousins everywhere. None of them, however, are quite like Handsome.

Me: He certainly has a determined look in his eye.

Nell: I definitely wouldn’t want to cross him.

Me: When does he arrive?

Nell: Later today. His private jet is landing in a few hours. Knitwear Wolf is collecting him on his motorbike.

Me: Is Rupert still wearing a loose cardigan?

Nell: No. He is in an Argyle sweater this morning and corduroy trousers in a rather fetching forest green with a matching beret.

Me: He sounds very dashing.

Nell: Where are you going? Your case is packed.

Me: To the Writers’ Retreat. I told you about it ages ago.

Nell: So just when everything starts happening you go on holiday?

Me: It’s not a holiday as such. I’m going there to write.

Nell: Leaving me to cope with a sporranless corgi and an international hit cat.

Me: I didn’t know that when I booked.

Nell: Not to mention Sally who is behaving very strangely at the moment.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: Charlie says she seems different.

Me: How odd.

Nell: And Knitwear Wolf isn’t sure about her either.

Me: How do you know?

Nell: He keeps muttering ‘Really?’ to himself.

Me: Really?

Nell: Exactly.

Me: Keep me posted and please look after Kev.

Nell: You know I will. Now go and write.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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