Me: My darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy looks awfully tired.
Nell: Waiting can be extremely exhausting you know.
Me: Who is Dave waiting for?
Nell: You, of course. What a silly question. We don’t like it when you are away.
Me: So when were you going to tell me Henry was hiding in my scarf?
Nell: Was he?
Me: Don’t play the innocent.
Nell: We thought you would like the company. I hope you’re looking after him.
Me: Yes, he’s on the balcony. He loves the sea views, especially the sunsets.
Nell: He can’t stay out there too long. He’s a house woodlouse.
Me: I know.
Nell: Just keep him warm and safe.
Me: I will. How are things?
Nell: We have had a development.
Me: Tell me more.
Nell: Handsome has a lead and it’s all because of Cornish Yarg.
Me: That’s a cheese wrapped in nettles.
Nell: I know. May I continue?
Me: Yes.
Nell: So Gary was delivering the cheeses as usual and he got talking with Handsome who was admiring his Somerset Brie.
Me: Who is Gary?
Nell: You must know Gary the Goat. Long hair and a beard. He runs the farm shop near the Garden Centre. He is one of Poppy’s suppliers.
Me: I don’t think I know him.
Nell: Anyway it turns out that a Beefy wearing a sporran bought a piece of Cornish Yarg from Gary’s shop yesterday so Handsome is following it up.
Me: Was it Scottish?
Nell: No, it said ‘Thanks, Buddy’ so it’s clearly a local.
Me: Very interesting.
Nell: Funnily enough Gary is convinced that Cornish Yarg is named after him.
Me: Why?
Nell: He thinks it’s Gary spelt backwards.
Me: It isn’t.
Nell: I know but Gary is dyslexic. Don’t be so judgemental.
Me: I see. Sorry.
