Me: You’ve got a white feather on your head. Has someone eaten a cushion?
Nell: I can assure you that a feather is the least of my concerns. Have you heard the latest?
Me: No.
Nell: You remember I told you Susan and Henry aren’t going up to Dartmoor alone?
Me: Yes.
Nell: I was actually referring to a plan drawn up by Knitwear Wolf and associates at the Dartmouth Meeting.
Me: Hang on a minute. The Dartmouth Meeting? And Knitwear Wolf has associates?
Nell: Yes, of course he does. Rupert hasn’t been working alone.
Me: Are you telling me that a pack of wolves met with Susan and Henry in Dartmouth about going to Beefy Mansion?
Nell: Of course I’m not. That would be ridiculous.
Me: I wondered for a moment.
Nell: I am talking about the Welsh corgi choir and the Whippets Institute.
Me: Excuse me?
Nell: They have a minibus and Myfanwy is willing to drive.
Me: Words fail me.
Nell: That’s a first. Obviously there will be a winged back-up.
Me: Walter Pigeon and the Beaky Blinders?
Nell: No, Bill the buzzard and his brother Bob. Owl Pacino will be on stand by with the Royal Owl Force.
Me: When you said Susan won’t be doing this alone I didn’t realise how many were involved.
Nell: Quite, so the idea of Alejandro pulling a covered wagon up there is clearly preposterous.
Me: A covered wagon? In this weather?
Nell: I told Gladys it’s Dartmoor not the Wild West. What is she thinking?
Me: Gladys is going too?
Nell: Of course. With David, The Cat and Harriet.
Me: Gosh. Alejandro is going to struggle getting up those hills. Going down them might be a bit risky too.
Nell: That is not the point.
Me: No. Sorry.
