In this weather?

Me: You’ve got a white feather on your head. Has someone eaten a cushion?

Nell: I can assure you that a feather is the least of my concerns. Have you heard the latest?

Me: No.

Nell: You remember I told you Susan and Henry aren’t going up to Dartmoor alone?

Me: Yes.

Nell: I was actually referring to a plan drawn up by Knitwear Wolf and associates at the Dartmouth Meeting.

Me: Hang on a minute. The Dartmouth Meeting? And Knitwear Wolf has associates?

Nell: Yes, of course he does. Rupert hasn’t been working alone.

Me: Are you telling me that a pack of wolves met with Susan and Henry in Dartmouth about going to Beefy Mansion?

Nell: Of course I’m not. That would be ridiculous.

Me: I wondered for a moment.

Nell: I am talking about the Welsh corgi choir and the Whippets Institute.

Me: Excuse me?

Nell: They have a minibus and Myfanwy is willing to drive.

Me: Words fail me.

Nell: That’s a first. Obviously there will be a winged back-up.

Me: Walter Pigeon and the Beaky Blinders?

Nell: No, Bill the buzzard and his brother Bob. Owl Pacino will be on stand by with the Royal Owl Force.

Me: When you said Susan won’t be doing this alone I didn’t realise how many were involved.

Nell: Quite, so the idea of Alejandro pulling a covered wagon up there is clearly preposterous.

Me: A covered wagon? In this weather?

Nell: I told Gladys it’s Dartmoor not the Wild West. What is she thinking?

Me: Gladys is going too?

Nell: Of course. With David, The Cat and Harriet.

Me: Gosh. Alejandro is going to struggle getting up those hills. Going down them might be a bit risky too.

Nell: That is not the point.

Me: No. Sorry.

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