Nell: You are not going to believe this.
Me: I just might.
Nell: One must always expect the unexpected.
Me: Has Dave taken his sunglasses off again?
Nell: No. And you can go straight back to bed, by the way, coughing all night like that.
Me: I couldn’t help it.
Nell: It always happens when you go on aeroplanes.
Me: I didn’t go on a plane. I went to Heathrow on the train.
Nell: That’s enough. Anyway, where was I?
Me: Expecting the unexpected.
Nell: Yes. I opened the door this morning expecting Knitwear Wolf and the newspapers and instead I found a buzzard called Bob.
Nell: Yes. Obviously I didn’t know his name at the time.
Me: Yes. You had only just met.
Nell: Quite. He said Horst had been in touch.
Me: What a relief.
Nell: Well, I asked him inside for a cup of tea and some toast which was fortunate as he had flown quite a way.
Me: Marmalade, or jam?
Nell: Marmalade, of course, buzzards are very traditional. It seems Sven Gully and Horst are up at the Beefy Mansion on Dartmoor.
Me: Isn’t it awfully far from the sea?
Nell: Yes, but Beefies are dreadful attention seekers.
Me: I suppose it’s a bit like parading Dartmoor ponies on a beach. They are definitely going to be noticed.
Nell: We know Stephen Seagull has called a meeting and the Beefies are gathering.
Me: I wonder if they are all wearing knitted waistcoats.
Nell: Good point. If they are bugged then Horst has backup.
Me: Maybe the bugs could all bite the Beefies at the same time. That would shock them.
Nell: The bugs are simply gathering information. They are not hired assassins. Try and stay in the real world, please.
Me: Yes. Sorry.