Dave is in danger

Me: Where is Dave? He didn’t come upstairs for Morning Cuddles.

Nell: I’m afraid he is on duty and cannot be distracted.

Me: What is he doing?

Nell: Looking out for Beefies in knitted waistcoats.

Me: Of course. Silly me.

Nell: The waistcoats have proved rather popular.

Me: Is Dave counting them then?

Nell: No. He is waiting for the return of Sven Gully.

Me: That sounds like a movie title.

Nell: This is not a joking matter. Staring at the sky is not something anyone wants to do with Gully around.

Me: No, of course not.

Nell: We didn’t want to worry you with all that was going on in your life but Alejandro went under for a while when Gully was here.

Me: Under where? The table?

Nell: Under the influence. Alejandro wouldn’t fit under the table.

Me: What happened?

Nell: We all wore sunglasses as planned and tried not to look him in the eyes.

Me: Good.

Nell: When the waistcoat was finally fitted Gully flew off with Horst. We’ve heard nothing since.

Me: What about Alejandro?

Nell: We only realised there was something wrong when he started speaking Swedish.

Me: Oh no.

Nell: He refused his usual enchiladas and asked for ‘surströmming‘.

Me: What on earth is that?

Nell: Sour herring. Fortunately Knitwear Wolf spent some time in Sweden and understood him.

Me: What did you do?

Nell: Obvious you can’t just ferment a herring. The horrible stuff takes six months. So Poppy suggested a Rollmops.

Me: I meant about him being hypnotised.

Nell: The Great Mutliano brought him back after a few sessions but he still craves fish.

Me: Shouldn’t Dave be wearing glasses?

Nell: Do you mean he isn’t? David is in danger. Why didn’t you tell me before?

Me: I didn’t realise. Sorry.

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