Sunday papers

Me: What are you all waiting for?

Nell: The Sunday papers. Rupert is late.

Me: Why?

Nell: I don’t know. He is probably chatting to someone about chunky knits.

Me: I mean why are you so excited about the papers?

Nell: Barking Weekly and the Sunday Growl are both publishing reviews of David’s book.

Me: ‘Meals I ate by Mistake’?

Nell: Yes. How many books do you think he has? Didn’t you notice the reporters talking to David yesterday?

Me: There were a couple of Jack Russells in tweed caps with pencils behind their ears but I thought they were just friends.

Nell: Since when do friends record everything you say? And why do you think that Weimaraner was taking so many photos?

Me: I thought it was on holiday.

Nell: Who goes on holiday with a tripod and six cameras?

Me: Well, I could name a few people.

Nell: And why would anyone take holiday photos of David eating?

Me: I did wonder. It was only a fish pie.

Nell: What does it matter what it was?

Me: Well, if you’re taking photos of food then a seafood platter would look a lot more impressive, or a paella.

Nell: You can’t eat a paella by mistake.

Me: Have you forgotten Flamenco Night?

Nell: Oh yes. Anyway, we are keen to see what they say.

Me: It’s gone down awfully well until now so I’m sure everything will be fine.

Nell: I certainly hope so.

Me: I think I heard Knitwear Wolf’s motorbike.

Nell: Yes, that’s Rupert.

Me: Why is he carrying your handbag?

Nell: Gladys spent the night at a friend’s so he said he would collect her on the way.

Me: He’s smiling so the reviews must be good.

Nell: That wolf is always smiling.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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