Me: How fabulous. Dave looks magnificent.
Nell: Yes, he does.
Me: So he decided on David Martin not Dave?
Nell: We felt David was more appropriate for an author. More weighty.
Me: He’s going to be weighty if he keep eating things by mistake.
Nell: He is working on that. He and Alejandro have gone surfing with Gladys and the girls. It’s all part of the new exercise regime.
Me: What girls? Not the Welsh corgi choir?
Nell: Certainly not. Corgis don’t surf. Everyone knows that. They sail, but they never surf.
Me: Then who?
Nell: The Whippets Institute surf team of course. Do keep up.
Me: Gladys isn’t a whippet. She’s a Pomeranian.
Nell: You don’t have to be a whippet to surf. Everyone does it around here.
Me: Apart from the corgis.
Me: How were the reviews by the way?
Nell: Positive in the main. They questioned the accidental eating of a whole roast chicken.
Me: That’s easily done, so I have been told.
Nell: Quite. Once you’ve eaten one leg you have to eat the other and so on. It’s all about the symmetry.
Me: And greed.
Nell: David argues that greed isn’t the driving force.
Me: Really? I mean he’s a Labrador.
Nell: And your point is?
Me: Well, you Labradors are renowned for your appetite.
Nell: We are good eaters. I call it Supportive Eating. We like to show our appreciation.
Me: But you seem to forget you’ve eaten almost immediately after you’ve finished.
Nell: We simply move on. Why dwell on the past?
Me: That’s one way of looking at it. Although Dave takes it to a new level.
Nell: What do you mean?
Me: He’s almost finished before he thinks about it at all.
Nell: Everyone makes mistakes.
Me: Yes. Sorry.