Always bow

Me: Look at Dave. He’s wearing your old boy’s collar.

Nell: Yes. It is a family heirloom and he has behaved well enough on the lead to wear it.

Me: What a Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: He has demonstrated Caring Ways and Loving Loyalty.

Me: Has Mutley recovered from yesterday?

Nell: He is having a lie-in. Malcolm said Alejandro is refusing to leave his hammock and Gladys is wearing dark glasses.

Me: Knitwear Wolf seemed quite chirpy when he delivered the papers.

Nell: Rupert is excessively optimistic. He actually suggested a breakfast meeting with The Cat to discuss the autumn line.

Me: The Cat doesn’t do breakfast.

Nell: I know. It’s rarely seen before ten and then only in a sequinned kimono with a cup of strong coffee.

Me: Any sign of the good Beefy?

Nell: There was a flyer attached to a mackerel this morning. Fresh from the sea on a bed of sea salt so perfectly usable.

Me: What did it say?

Nell: The usual. ‘Don’t judge a Beefy by its feathers’ but as far as I am concerned a Beefy cannot change its beak. If you know what I mean?

Me: Not really. Talking of feathers I saw a really unusual Beefy with black wings yesterday.

Nell: A black winged Beefy?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Oh dear. Did it have a black back too?

Me: A black backed black winged Beefy?

Nell: Yes.

Me: I think it did. Why?

Nell: Because a black backed black winged Beefy means trouble.

Me: Is there any way of shortening its name, Nell? Only this could take all day.

Nell: Don’t mock. Was there only one?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Did you bow?

Me: Of course not.

Nell: Very worrying. Always bow. They are worse than magpies.

Me: Oh dear. Sorry.

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