Me: It’s hard to believe Mutley will be 17 this month, isn’t it?

Nell: That’s because he won’t.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: You got his age wrong again. He will only be 16.

Me: That’s wonderful news.

Nell: Yes, but I’ve got to send the banner back and The Cat is having to resequin his bomber jacket.

Me: Is there such a word as resequin?

Nell: There is now. Ask The Cat.

Me: Oh dear. Although I’m not sure Mutley is a bomber jacket kind of dog.

Nell: Are you coming to Mutley’s talk this evening?

Me: I didn’t know there was one.

Nell: Yes. ‘Memoirs of a Travelling Mutt’. He will be discussing the time he toured the United States with his swing band.

Me: How lovely.

Nell: Yes. He and David are performing a few numbers with Knitwear Wolf. Personally I think wearing cardigans is a little dated but The Cat says they are wonderfully retro.

Me: Maybe Knitwear Wolf is actually a hipster.

Nell: Don’t be silly. He’s a wolf not a Bearded Collie.

Me: Is anyone else performing?

Nell: Alejandro. He’s singing with Gladys and the Pups.

Me: Don’t you mean Pips?

Nell: Certainly not. They’re Pomeranians not pears.

Me: What are they singing?

Nell: ‘Tequila’. Alejandro struggles with his English so it was an easy song to learn.

Me: It would be. It only has one word.

Nell: Fortunately the Whippets Institute Big Band were free.

Me: They have a Big Band?

Nell: Yes. Gladys plays the trumpet with them occasionally.

Me: I hope there’s going to be dancing.

Nell: Of course. You can’t have tequila without dancing.

Me: So cocktails for everyone then?

Nell: Except Timothy.

Me: Why?

Nell: Turkeys can’t take their tequila. Everyone knows that.

Me: Oh, I see. Sorry.

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