Making plans for Nigel

Me: Why the worried faces?

Nell: We are waiting for feedback.

Me: From Nigel?

Nell: Yes. He is being wired as we speak.

Me: What if he has to take his collar off?

Nell: He will refuse. He’s bad. Bad dogs don’t behave.

Me: Of course.

Nell: Sally’s not sure he’s going to be able to do it.

Me: Why?

Nell: He shared his ham sandwich with a tired looking beagle on the train to London.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: A bad animal would have just wolfed it down.

Me: So would Nigel normally.

Nell: Yes, I think it was nerves.

Me: Probably.

Nell: Now, we have reason to believe that The Black Claw have someone out in the field scouting for potential nasties.

Me: There are plenty of those in our field after the cows have been grazing. I stepped in one recently.

Nell: I’m talking about recruiting bad animals, not stepping in cow pats. Good grief.

Me: Do we know who this someone is?

Nell: Not yet. We’re hoping Nigel will be able to find out.

Me: Animals join BAD because they want to change and be good, don’t they?

Nell: Yes. But you often get a few mouldy biscuits in the box.

Me: Don’t you mean rotten apples in the barrel?

Nell: No.

Me: What if Nigel turns bad?

Nell: He won’t. I’m sure.

Me: You are?

Nell: Yes. Nigel is a Labrador and we Labradors are naturally kind.

Me: True.

Nell: By the way, if you see a small woodlouse in the downstairs facilities, please leave it alone.

Me: A woodlouse?

Nell: Yes. It’s Henry. David’s friend. He wandered in from the garden and is having a rest.

Me: From the sun?

Nell: No, from David. He finds all the attention rather tiring.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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