Naughty Nigel steps up

Me: That’s Naughty Nigel.

Nell: Yes. We were FaceTiming on WoofsApp this morning.

Me: You were?

Nell: I have been rethinking my initial decision to do this alone. To be honest Charlie put his paw down.

Me: Good. I told you how unhappy we all were.

Nell: David actually refused breakfast. He said he was going on hunger strike.

Me: No?

Nell: I was shocked. Fortunately it didn’t last long and he is eating a bacon sandwich as we speak.

Me: What happened?

Nell: Well, you will be pleased to hear that Nigel has agreed to step up.

Me: He has? Does Charlotte know?

Nell: Not yet. Naughtiness comes naturally to Nigel. Remember the egg stealing?

Me: I do.

Nell: And recently Baby Lily’s bath toy was chewed.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Anyway, with guidance, we believe Nigel can move from Naughty to Bad.

Me: I see.

Nell: Personally, I think Bad will be a challenge, but he is willing to try.

Me: So, what exactly is Nigel’s role?

Nell: He is joining BAD as a member.

Me: That sounds awfully dangerous.

Nell: Yes. He will wear a wire in his collar.

Me: It’s very brave of him.

Nell: Dave and Harriet offered to go but they simply aren’t naughty enough.

Me: No, they aren’t. Darling puppies.

Nell: One needs to have achieved a certain degree of naughtiness to be bad.

Me: Gladys is probably close.

Nell: Gladys is very close.

Me: And Poppy could easily be bad.

Nell: She only got back from the South of France last night.

Me: How are the newlyweds?

Nell: Resting in their nest. Malcolm has a tan. I think it’s from the snails.

Me: Could I be bad?

Nell: No.

Me: So it’s Naughty Nigel?

Nell: You mean Bad Nigel.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.