Harriet is unhappy

Nell: If you’re looking for Harriet she’s up in Kev’s studio under the table.

Me: Why?

Nell: She’s extremely unhappy about Sally’s decision and is Making A Point.

Me: Good for her.

Nell: Listen, The Bad Animal Division are looking for an experienced advisor. A small Pomeranian riding in on a large alpaca is simply not going to cut the custard.

Me: You mean mustard.

Nell: I do not. Whoever heard of mustard on a custard tart?

Me: I wasn’t talking about custard tarts.

Nell: I was and if the custard isn’t set properly it ruins the look and taste. Nobody wants a soggy bottom.

Me: They certainly don’t.

Nell: Now, my interview isn’t until Monday so I have the weekend to prepare.

Me: You better not be away on Thursday because you and I are going for a photo shoot for the book.

Nell: When did you organise that?

Me: Yesterday, Martyn the photographer rang.

Nell: I’ll have to postpone getting my fur dyed now. What a nuisance. Could you stop eating strawberries while we’re talking?

Me: They are part of my five a day.

Nell: You’ve eaten a lot more than five. Trust me.

Me: You usually encourage me to eat fruit.

Nell: Yes, but Belle says leave the fruit and eat the cream.

Me: I don’t like Belle.

Nell: Good. Then I am getting somewhere.

Me: You aren’t really going to dye your fur are you?

Nell: I toyed with the idea but The Cat has some excellent wigs.

Me: I think I should come with you.

Nell: Never happening. I’m doing this to protect you all and I’m doing it alone.

Me: What about you and me always?

Nell: Yes. But Belle is going to that meeting not Nell. So no more arguments.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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