Nell: If you’re looking for Harriet she’s up in Kev’s studio under the table.
Me: Why?
Nell: She’s extremely unhappy about Sally’s decision and is Making A Point.
Me: Good for her.
Nell: Listen, The Bad Animal Division are looking for an experienced advisor. A small Pomeranian riding in on a large alpaca is simply not going to cut the custard.
Me: You mean mustard.
Nell: I do not. Whoever heard of mustard on a custard tart?
Me: I wasn’t talking about custard tarts.
Nell: I was and if the custard isn’t set properly it ruins the look and taste. Nobody wants a soggy bottom.
Me: They certainly don’t.
Nell: Now, my interview isn’t until Monday so I have the weekend to prepare.
Me: You better not be away on Thursday because you and I are going for a photo shoot for the book.
Nell: When did you organise that?
Me: Yesterday, Martyn the photographer rang.
Nell: I’ll have to postpone getting my fur dyed now. What a nuisance. Could you stop eating strawberries while we’re talking?
Me: They are part of my five a day.
Nell: You’ve eaten a lot more than five. Trust me.
Me: You usually encourage me to eat fruit.
Nell: Yes, but Belle says leave the fruit and eat the cream.
Me: I don’t like Belle.
Nell: Good. Then I am getting somewhere.
Me: You aren’t really going to dye your fur are you?
Nell: I toyed with the idea but The Cat has some excellent wigs.
Me: I think I should come with you.
Nell: Never happening. I’m doing this to protect you all and I’m doing it alone.
Me: What about you and me always?
Nell: Yes. But Belle is going to that meeting not Nell. So no more arguments.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
