Me: Why are you two looking at me like that?
Nell: You are disturbing an important conversation.
Me: You’re just having a good old chinwag over a half eaten antler.
Nell: I beg your pardon. That happens to be David’s thinking antler. Chewing helps him concentrate. You chew gum and we chew antlers.
Me: I don’t chew gum.
Nell: You know exactly what I mean. We are preparing David’s speech for the wedding. He needs to praise the bridesmaids.
Me: Well, Harriet is easy to praise. Beautiful and clever with an amazing singing voice. Oh, and mysterious of course.
Me: Well, she’s a spy.
Nell: We don’t want to broadcast the fact though, do we? Honestly, I despair of you sometimes. I really do.
Me: I suppose we don’t.
Nell: One struggles where to begin with Gladys. Her skills are so varied.
Me: Dave has to mention her dancing.
Nell: Yes and she will be performing during the ceremony. An interpretive dance of love.
Me: Will there be scarves?
Me: Or feathers? She’ll need something floaty.
Nell: I’ve no idea. I’m worried about the Gulls.
Me: Why don’t you just say Girls like everyone else? Why say it in that posh voice?
Nell: I’m talking about Susan’s Gulls. Her bridesmaids.
Me: You’re doing it again.
Nell: What am I supposed to call them?
Me: They’re awfully quiet for seagulls.
Nell: I know.
Me: Like they wouldn’t say boo to a goose.
Nell: Nobody is booing Malcolm’s Canadian cousins. It’s kind of them to make the long journey over here.
Me: Never mind.
Nell: The Cat has insisted on pink feather headdresses. I’m not sure they’re going to cope. You don’t look at them and think showgirls do you?
Me: Or even showgulls?