Nell: What on earth is going on?
Me: Xav the kitten spooked Cousin Boo.
Nell: Well, you need to put a stop to it. Boo is a senior Labrador and deserves respect.
Me: Yes. How’s everything at home?
Nell: Jason Doberman is arriving soon. He says shearing is stressful.
Me: Is Alejandro worried about it, too?
Nell: Yes. That’s why certain measures have been put in place.
Me: What are they?
Nell: David and the Welsh corgi choir are going to sing while Gladys performs a contemporary dance. Completely pointless of course.
Nell: Alejandro will be wearing a blindfold.
Me: He will?
Nell: Yes, it’s best for him not to see what’s going on.
Me: But he might want to.
Nell: Do you watch the nurse taking your blood?
Me: No, I have to lie down in case I faint.
Nell: Well, then.
Me: But I manage to watch my hairdresser.
Nell: This is an all over cut apart from the head and legs and alpacas worry.
Me: I’d worry about a style like that. Won’t he look like he’s wearing a wig and bloomers?
Nell: It’s standard for alpacas. Anyway, where was I?
Nell: Yes. Mutley will also be on hand to tell him Tales of his Youth.
Me: We all enjoy those, don’t we?
Nell: Yes, but Alejandro only speaks Spanish so he is going to struggle.
Me: Could you translate?
Nell: That’s an idea. Malcolm and Poppy are providing a cream tea.
Me: If Jason is eating then Any Cream will Do.
Nell: Have you been waiting to say that?
Nell: Good. The Whippets Institute minibus has finally arrived and they’ve brought their fans.
Nell: Temperature control. Alpacas get hot when they’re stressed. Do keep up.
Me: Yes. Sorry.