Any Cream Will Do

Nell: What on earth is going on?

Me: Xav the kitten spooked Cousin Boo.

Nell: Well, you need to put a stop to it. Boo is a senior Labrador and deserves respect.

Me: Yes. How’s everything at home?

Nell: Jason Doberman is arriving soon. He says shearing is stressful.

Me: Is Alejandro worried about it, too?

Nell: Yes. That’s why certain measures have been put in place.

Me: What are they?

Nell: David and the Welsh corgi choir are going to sing while Gladys performs a contemporary dance. Completely pointless of course.

Me: Why?

Nell: Alejandro will be wearing a blindfold.

Me: He will?

Nell: Yes, it’s best for him not to see what’s going on.

Me: But he might want to.

Nell: Do you watch the nurse taking your blood?

Me: No, I have to lie down in case I faint.

Nell: Well, then.

Me: But I manage to watch my hairdresser.

Nell: This is an all over cut apart from the head and legs and alpacas worry.

Me: I’d worry about a style like that. Won’t he look like he’s wearing a wig and bloomers?

Nell: It’s standard for alpacas. Anyway, where was I?

Me: Singing.

Nell: Yes. Mutley will also be on hand to tell him Tales of his Youth.

Me: We all enjoy those, don’t we?

Nell: Yes, but Alejandro only speaks Spanish so he is going to struggle.

Me: Could you translate?

Nell: That’s an idea. Malcolm and Poppy are providing a cream tea.

Me: If Jason is eating then Any Cream will Do.

Nell: Have you been waiting to say that?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Good. The Whippets Institute minibus has finally arrived and they’ve brought their fans.

Me: Why?

Nell: Temperature control. Alpacas get hot when they’re stressed. Do keep up.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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