Me: Did I wake you?
Nell: Yes. I was having a nap while David kept watch. Malcolm was hit with a mackerel this morning.
Me: Those wretched Beefies.
Nell: It was the one in a long black wig. Calls himself Romeo. Ridiculous name for a seagull.
Me: Yes. They should be called Phil, or Pete.
Nell: I’m not going to ask why, but I know what you mean. Anyway, Romeo has taken a particular dislike to Malcolm.
Me: It’s about Susan, isn’t it?
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: I bet Romeo and Susan went to seagull school together.
Nell: Here we go.
Me: Romeo watched Susan from afar. Just biding his time until he could tell her how he felt about her.
Nell: Good grief.
Me: But it was too late. Susan met Malcolm, a shy but pink flamingo, and they fell instantly in love.
Nell: At least that part is true.
Me: So Romeo was left to wander the skies in a long black wig with nothing but a wet mackerel to comfort him.
Nell: He threw the mackerel at Malcolm so he can’t be that attached to it.
Me: Poor Romeo.
Nell: I worry about you sometimes. Living in a world of fantasy. For your information Romeo is back with a fresh mackerel and a couple of friends.
Me: They’re not called Benvolio and Mercutio are they? Only Mercutio might be in a bit of trouble soon.
Nell: That’s quite enough.
Me: Romeo never stood a chance against Malcolm and his pink, slim legged flamingoness.
Nell: There is no such word.
Me: No, but you are wondering about Romeo now and whether he is carrying a torch for Susan, aren’t you?
Nell: I have more than enough on my plate without worrying about lovelorn Beefies thank you.
Me: Of course. Sorry.