Saturday heatwave

Me: You’ve just eaten something tasty. Admit it.

Nell: I may have.

Me: What?

Nell: Poppy made my Cream Tea ice cream for Gelato to try.

Me: I bet it’s delicious.

Nell: Yes. Poppy’s scones are essential, though, which is why she’s invited Gelato to tea.

Me: She wants a piece of the action.

Nell: She wants to discuss working together. Stop talking like an American gangster.

Me: It’s the hot weather. It makes people act strangely.

Nell: Yes. The Beefies have started wearing sombreros.

Me: Probably wise in this heat.

Nell: Beefies don’t get sunstroke. They are doing it to draw attention to themselves.

Me: It rather suits them.

Nell: That’s not the point. They want people to look up.

Me: Why?

Nell: So they can drop a mackerel on their heads.

Me: Dastardly.

Nell: They have been targeting the ice cream queues.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Gelato is shocked. He thought they were his friends.

Me: Why?

Nell: You know the way they shout ‘Mine’ all the time?

Me: Yes. Greedy gulls.

Nell: He thought they were saying ‘Hi’.

Me: Oh dear. So you want to help?

Nell: Yes. We discussed the problem at Morning Thoughts and decided that we are going to have to use pistols.

Me: I thought you said violence wasn’t the answer.

Nell: Water pistols. Gladys will be in command.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: Several of the more level headed Welsh corgis will have pistols concealed about their persons.

Me: Where? They’re only little.

Nell: Under their hats, if you must know.

Me: Clever.

Nell: When a Beefy approaches Gladys will shout ‘Fire’.

Me: I’m not sure the tourists are going to enjoy this.

Nell: I disagree. It’s better than a wet mackerel and might actually be rather fun to watch.

Me: You are right. Sorry.

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