Ice cream wars

Nell: What on earth are you two wearing?

Me: We were just taking a selfie with our Italian ice cream seller hats. Doesn’t Dave look adorable in his?

Nell: It is very fetching. Why are you wearing one?

Me: Don’t worry it’s Harriet’s.

Nell: Of course. She agreed to help David after the cone throwing incident.

Me: What cone throwing incident?

Nell: Let’s just say that Gladys doesn’t take well to criticism.

Me: What happened?

Nell: Well, they were down at the quay selling ice cream when a Siamese cat with an eye patch….

Me: Was it injured?

Nell: Not at that juncture. I think it was just a fashion statement. Anyway, the Siamese cat complained about hair in its strawberry cone and suggested Gladys should wear a hairnet.

Me: But Gladys doesn’t do hairnets.

Nell: Quite. Apparently heated words were exchanged and Gladys lost her cool and threw a limoncello cone at it.

Me: Goodness me.

Nell: Unfortunately it missed the Siamese cat and hit a passing poodle who was out for a stroll along the quay with her husband.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: The husband was furious. His wife doesn’t like limoncello at the best of times.

Me: No, I’m not a fan either.

Nell: And the basset hound who ordered the limoncello cornet was even angrier because he’d been waiting a while.

Me: I expect he was.

Nell: Anyway, David tried to clear up.

Me: What a good, helpful boy.

Nell: But Gelato said Gladys was simply too volatile and he would have to let her go.

Me: So Harriet stepped in?

Nell: Yes. David needs someone calm and discreet beside him if he is to find out more.

Me: I can be calm and discreet.

Nell: We both know it’s never going to happen so give Harriet back her hat, please.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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