Nell: Did I just hear you correctly?
Me: Yes. I’m going to Liv and Ben’s wedding in Essex.
Nell: The parents of little Lily?
Me: Yes.
Nell: Without me?
Me: It’s only for a few days.
Nell: How many more times are you going to go off gallivanting all over the country leaving me to deal with the chaos you leave behind?
Me: That’s a bit harsh, Nell.
Nell: David is inconsolable for a while after you leave.
Me: How long is a while?
Nell: At least two biscuits.
Me: Gosh.
Nell: He isn’t really marvellous until you come back.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: And Harriet just goes very quiet.
Me: Harriet is quiet.
Nell: This is a different kind of quiet. A sad, abandoned one. Fortunately she is busy knitting Malcolm a winter jumper.
Me: Yes.
Nell: Well, I suppose there is no point in dwelling on it. I shall ask Poppy and Malcolm to cook us all something really special like Swedish meatballs.
Me: But they are my favourite.
Nell: You should have thought of that before.
Me: I didn’t know about it before.
Nell: A lame excuse. You can’t go to a wedding and have Swedish meatballs. It’s either-or.
Me: What rubbish.
Nell: A little less attitude, please. Now do try and behave and make sure you wear layers.
Me: Yes.
Nell: I suppose Poppy could make you a small picnic again. A few scones and some sandwiches. Try not to share it with everyone in your carriage. Have you finished packing?
Me: Nearly.
Nell: I’ll organise some Earl Grey and a boiled egg and soldiers. You need a good breakfast before you leave.
Me: I will miss you all, Nell. You know I would take you with me if I could.
Nell: I know. Make sure you enjoy yourself and give the happy couple our love. I expect you suited and booted downstairs shortly so don’t dilly dally.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
