Labrador yoga

Me: Why does Harriet do that?

Nell: Do what?

Me: Rest her bottom on one step and legs on another.

Nell: It’s Labrador yoga.

Me: Rubbish.

Nell: Excuse me? Have you never heard of the upward dog waiting?

Me: You mean downward dog, don’t you?

Nell: I do not. Harriet’s rear end is clearly higher and her legs are beautifully stretched. Notice her head is turned to the side.

Me: I know you are teasing me.

Nell: I am not. You can ask anyone from our yoga class.

Me: Yoga class?

Nell: Yes. David’s friend AJ, the gardening Afghan, runs a weekly class down by the harbour. We all go, except for Malcolm. He’s not very bendy.

Me: No. I don’t expect he is.

Nell: In the summer we exercise on the beach but it’s getting a little cold. Mavis has started wearing leg warmers.

Me: Do I know Mavis?

Nell: She’s a Pyrenean Mountain Dog. We met at the vets during one of those awful weigh ins.

Me: I wouldn’t have thought it was Mutley’s thing.

Nell: He takes it very gently nowadays. Poppy is at instructor level, of course, and runs the classes if AJ has a problem with his marrows.

Me: Why his marrows?

Nell: That was just an example of a vegetable. It might be carrots. Honestly, do keep up.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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