Me: Why does Harriet do that?
Nell: Do what?
Me: Rest her bottom on one step and legs on another.
Nell: It’s Labrador yoga.
Me: Rubbish.
Nell: Excuse me? Have you never heard of the upward dog waiting?
Me: You mean downward dog, don’t you?
Nell: I do not. Harriet’s rear end is clearly higher and her legs are beautifully stretched. Notice her head is turned to the side.
Me: I know you are teasing me.
Nell: I am not. You can ask anyone from our yoga class.
Me: Yoga class?
Nell: Yes. David’s friend AJ, the gardening Afghan, runs a weekly class down by the harbour. We all go, except for Malcolm. He’s not very bendy.
Me: No. I don’t expect he is.
Nell: In the summer we exercise on the beach but it’s getting a little cold. Mavis has started wearing leg warmers.
Me: Do I know Mavis?
Nell: She’s a Pyrenean Mountain Dog. We met at the vets during one of those awful weigh ins.
Me: I wouldn’t have thought it was Mutley’s thing.
Nell: He takes it very gently nowadays. Poppy is at instructor level, of course, and runs the classes if AJ has a problem with his marrows.
Me: Why his marrows?
Nell: That was just an example of a vegetable. It might be carrots. Honestly, do keep up.
Me: Yes. Sorry.