We can’t have a seagull on the panel

Me: Where is Malcolm?

Nell: He’s talking to The Cat about the tasting for this afternoon. Poppy doesn’t want any sequins.

Me: Why Malcolm?

Nell: He’s finished making his macarons and he’s good with The Cat. It likes his gentle ways.

Me: Malcolm is excessively polite. He bowed to me this morning.

Nell: Malcolm bows to everyone, it’s a habit.

Me: Oh.

Nell: I’m not talking to The Cat.

Me: Why? It was kind of it to organise the panel.

Nell: How could it invite Tall Hollywoof that Giant Schnauzer with the piercing blue eyes to be a judge?

Me: He does run a bakery in Kingsbridge.

Nell: Yes, but he pretended to have a dalliance with Poppy and nearly caused a rift between her and John the Doberman last summer.

Me: I remember now. The puppies ate too many of his doughnuts and you said he had nice buns.

Nell: I said he made nice buns, actually. That’s not important. He works with Prue Beef and she is in league with the Beefies.

Me: I think she might be on the panel too.

Nell: What? Beary Merry is chief judge. She is not going to be happy. We can’t have a seagull on the panel. Especially one who wears clunky jewellery.

Me: I think you will find Beary Merry will rise above all that. She is very wise.

Nell: Well, all I can say is thank goodness for Mr Kipling.

Me: I beg your pardon?

Nell: Mr Kipling is overseeing proceedings.

Me: Because we all know he makes “exceedingly good cakes?”

Nell: What are you talking about? We know nothing of the sort. Mr Kipling is not a baker. He is a Bichon Frise from Buckinghamshire.

Me: Are you sure?

Nell: Of course I’m sure. Honestly, I worry about you sometimes. Mr Kipling is Mutley’s business advisor.

Me: Oh. Sorry.

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