Mutley wants to be alone

Me: What’s the matter with Mutley?

Nell: He has rolled himself up in a throw.

Me: Yes, I know, but why?

Nell: He needs to be alone. Haven’t you ever wanted to roll yourself up in something?

Me: I can’t say I have.

Nell: Interesting. I, myself, often retire to the back bedroom, as you know, and roll myself under the coverlet

Me: Well, you certainly mess the coverlet up.

Nell: It is a form of protest. Please take it seriously.

Me: What is Mutley protesting about?

Nell: Annoying birds.

Me: Of the feathered variety?

Nell: Of course. You don’t think I would refer to ladies as birds, do you? I’m not from London.

Me: My mistake.

Nell: Seagulls, pigeons, flamingos and now chaffinch.

Me: Chaffinch? Are they planning a hostile takeover too?

Nell: No. But they won’t stop arguing about the bird bath.

Me: Oh.

Nell: It’s a constant chirp from morning until night. They queue on the fence and then someone pushes in, or takes too long in the bath.

Me: I know that feeling. Queuing for the bathroom is so annoying.

Nell: Yes, but there is no need to constantly chirp while you are waiting. Mutley wanted to nap outside on the terrace but the noise was simply too much.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: David took matters into his own paws at one stage and drank the whole bath but Kev refilled it.

Me: Do you know the odd thing about all this, Nell? Mutley is deaf.

Nell: He is selectively deaf. Just because we don’t always react to you doesn’t mean we can’t hear.

Me: Ha. You’ve finally admitted it.

Nell: Would you pass the shortbread, please?

Me: I know you heard me.

Nell: And a plate. We have standards.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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