Nell: There is nothing like a swim at sunset.
Me: Yes. Look at little Harriet.
Nell: We all had a great deal of fun until the incident.
Me: Do you mean that angry border collie?
Nell: It was an Australian shepherd.
Me: No. It was definitely a dog, Nell.
Nell: Very funny.
Me: I’ve never seen Poppy so angry.
Nell: It was making sizeist remarks.
Me: What do you mean?
Nell: It said: “Will you look at that scruffy little thing with those labs. Thinks it’s a real dog.”
Me: Your Australian accent is ever so good.
Nell: Thank you. Anyway, when Poppy demanded an apology Paul Robinson started shouting.
Me: Paul Robinson? Are you sure that was his name?
Nell: Oh yes. He’s well known in the area. Very rich and owns a lot of land. Poppy shouted back because she can be fierce when provoked. Ask her kitchen staff.
Me: Do you mean Harriet as I didn’t know she had any kitchen staff?
Nell: No. Poppy has a whole team of terriers in her brigade. Do keep up.
Me: I never knew.
Nell: David heard her shouting and ran over. He is very protective. Just because someone is small doesn’t mean they are less. Harriet is a small lab, for instance.
Me: To be fair you are the same height as Harriet but you are curvier so you seem bigger.
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: In a good way.
Nell: David demanded that Paul Robinson should apologise, or face the consequences.
Me: Yes. I bet he used his big boy’s voice.
Nell: Please don’t say things like that. Big boy’s voice. Whatever next?
Me: Did Paul Robinson apologise?
Nell: No. He left the beach.
Me: Well, Dave certainly defended his family.
Nell: He is growing into a fine young dog. Best of all his retrieving skills are greatly improved.
Me: Marvellous.
Nell: I’ve told you not to say that. Now you have to hand out a treat.
Me: Sorry.
